you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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