Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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