Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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