real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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