So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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