do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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