the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize