This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize