we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize