Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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