I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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