apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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