We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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