If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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