i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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