She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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