he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just pee around me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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