No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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