Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize