so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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