Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize