i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My ATM looks so different sober.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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