thus making me awesome and them whores
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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