.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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