tell your sister to shave her snatch
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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