I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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