I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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