how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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