Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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