Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we're so committed to being not committed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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