So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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