who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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