Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize