i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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