Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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