At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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