hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
FUCK WHALES
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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