you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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