guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize