I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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