who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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