I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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