I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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