Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize