I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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