Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize