I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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