glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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