just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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