I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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