You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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